the window is closing

Hello, friends and strangers in the computer. I’ve made a new art piece for you to ogle at:

Neat, huh? This piece, along with the others I’ve made in the past, can be found in my art archive here.

This being my inaugural “newsletter,” I apologize for not publishing anything sooner. It has been a rather turbulent two months, as I imagine it has been for most people. Being caught up in all this existential horror (yes, I’m going to keep talking about it indirectly) tends to stifle much desire to write or create art. The gross irony being that those exact things are what helps us understand what we’re going through.

I wonder what coping techniques people are utilizing nowadays, aside from generally feeling numb, ignoring what’s going on, doing god’s work in fighting back, or, well, cheering it all on. I had a stint of practicing meditation and just being still to the dulcet guidance of a British man’s voice. Yes… it’s going to be okay. Ah, what beautiful visuals my mind generates on the backs of my eyelids. Hmm, what random anxieties can my brain produce in this moment of peace?

The meditation tapered off and was slowly replaced by watching an anime about a very large cat that cooks and does housework. That is, until I swallowed all 13 episodes and was left listless again. I quit nicotine, returned to nicotine. Quit weed, stayed off the weed. Experimenting with tempering certain fixations. I downloaded an app to keep track of my routines. It works some days, other days not so much.

There are times where I feel utter dejection before I alternate into complete faith that love will save us all. When your heart feels full, that’s when it’s easiest to break.

I’m growing tired and I’ve barely written anything, so setting the rambling aside, I’ll just say that I hope to publish here much more regularly. If there’s anything I struggle with the most, it’s consistency, but I hope you find some interest in these updates, whether it be for the art or this disgusting prose. Take care, and find joy wherever you can.

Talk to you soon.